


Winter Of Love

by NightWriter89



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5238047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightWriter89/pseuds/NightWriter89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is a athlete for the Canadian Sledge Hockey Team and Laura's new roommate. At first they hate each other, but slowly they warm up to each other. Then Laura drops a bomb on them...<br/>(There's also LaF and Perry, who is deaf, falling slowly for eachother as well!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello and welcome to my new fanfic. This fanfic is a part of the Carmilla Big Bang and will be accompanied by art from the awesome natazz1011.  
> A few notes before we begin:  
> The lines in italic indicates sign language. Lines in italic and underlined are spoken and in sign language. The paragraph in bold is a flashback.
> 
> Without further due, I present you:

**Chapter One ‘New Roommate’**

Laura flopped down on her bed, c **l** asses had been brutal. She was in her third year med school, which was her major. Today she had finished her day with a three hour lecture on Pathology. It had been boring as hell, but she had to take it to complete her Major. Sighing once more, she sat up and dragged herself to her laptop, where an essay Anatomy was waiting for her. She fired up her laptop and waited impatiently until she was looking at her login screen. She typed in her password as the door of her room opened and someone came in. Laura turned to face whoever dared to disturb her and stared into the most beautiful brown eyes she's ever seen. She swallowed and blinked. A dark haired girl in a wheelchair was staring back at her.

"Who the hell are you?" Laura asked, sounding a bit pissed off.

"Carmilla. I'm your new roommate," the girl replied as she dropped a large bag on the empty bed.Laura opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to come up with a reply. “You know you look like a goldfish, right?” Carmilla asked, smirking slightly.

Laura closed her mouth, still staring at the girl in front of her. “Excuse me for being blindsided, I wasn’t aware I was to get a new roommate,” Laura fumed at the insult.

Carmilla only raised one eyebrow as she dropped her large bag on the empty bed. “Well, suck it up creampuff. I’m your roommate for the coming semester.”

She opened her bag and grabbed two short hockey sticks with anti-slip tips at the end. She whirled her wheelchair around and wheeled out of the room, leaving the door wide open. Laura stared after her with her mouth open and as Carmilla was out of side, she rushed to the door to close it with a slam. Laura sat down again, this was unbelievable. She pinched herself, but she was wide awake as she almost let out a small scream of pain. She grabbed her phone and texted her two best friends. Without waiting for a reply, she left her room.

~~~

Carmilla strapped herself tightly to the inline sledge, which was made out of iron frame, a seat and three small wheels. Her sledge for the ice hockey was similar, only with two sharp irons seated next to each other under the sledge and a supporting round bar on the front. Carmilla sighed, that first meeting with her new roommate had been a disaster. Of course, it was a bit her own fault, but that was only because she was cranky she couldn’t bunk with Mattie and Ell. She placed the earbuds in her ears and turned on her Ipod. She hit play and soon enough the low bass of the band Dashboard Confessionals flooded through her eardrums. She pushed off with the two short sticks and set a rapid pace over the road through Toronto. She had planned a good route with the coach, this would be her first round to test it out.

Carmilla Karnstein was 24 and the youngest of the National Canadian Sledge Hockey Team. She had been selected only two months ago with the promise of the Paralympics in a couple of years. She had left her mother, with whom she hadn’t had the greatest relationship since forever and her brother Will. Will. She already missed him. She would try to skype after she got back to her room. That brought her back to her roommate. She didn’t even know the name of the brunette she would be sharing a room with for the coming semester. Carmilla sharply rounded the corner and felt her muscles strain against the action. She smiled, she would be aching tomorrow. It was her own fault, she hadn’t trained in days. She had fallen in love with sledge hockey while she was in high school when her coach had given a trial. After that trial she immediately had searched for a team nearby and started playing for them. There she had truly fallen for the game, although it might have had something to do with a beautiful blonde goalie. Carmilla smirked at the thought of her first ex. When a car honked at her for cutting him off, Carmilla decided to start paying more attention to her surroundings and not her inner musings.

~~~

“ _This is truly unbelievable, Perry. She was so rude, she didn’t even ask my name!”_ Laura exclaimed, while signing rapidly.

She was with her best friends since high school, Lola Perry and Susan LaFontaine, whose first names never got used. Hardly. Perry had been deaf since a young age and both Laura and LaFontaine had learned sign language when they first met Perry. Both interpreted lessons for Perry where possible and the remaining classes would be interpreted by a by school provided interpreter.

 _“So she just barged in?”_ LaF asked, raising an eyebrow in disapproval.

_“Yes. She didn’t even explain why she was assigned to my room. She barely said her name and she called me a goldfish!”_

Perry snorted with laughter and both Laura and LaF looked up, it was rarely that Perry laughed or spoke. She was able to speak, her mother had forced her to take speech lessons, which hadn't been a great success.

 _“I’m sorry, but that was funny. Sometime youdo look like a goldfish,”_ Perry smirked, her eyes were sparkling with laughter.

_“Thanks, Per.”_

_“I think it’s my fault you didn’t know. I should have told you, but it was last minute. Carmilla is part of the National Sledge Hockey team and they train here,”_ Perry explained.

 _“She’s an athlete?”_ Laura asked.

 _“Yes. The dorm they were supposed to go burned down last week. So that’s why they are here,”_ Perry continued.

 _“Okay. Didn’t see that one coming. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t very friendly, because she couldn’t stay with her team,”_ Laura thought out loud.

 _“Or she is just arrogant,”_ LaF interjected.

Laura shook her head. _“I kind of bit her head off when she came into my room. I will apologize when she gets back.”_

 _“Good idea. But first things first. What movie will we watch first?”_ LaF asked, holding up a couple of DVD’s.

 _“None. We have to study, remember?”_ Perry reminded them.

LaF groaned. _“Only one then?"_ they tried.

Perry only shook her head, which Laura took as her cue.

 _“I’m going anyway. I have an essay Anatomy waiting for me,”_ she said as she stood up.

_“Party pooper!”_

Laura flipped her smirking and after hugging them both, she left the room. She walked down the hallway to her own room. She was proud of her best friend. Even though she was deaf, she was studying Law and was excelling in it. Laura got pulled out of her musings as she saw Carmilla standing next to their room. She was leaning nonchalantly with her back against the wall, balancing on the back wheels.

“Did you get locked out?” Laura asked as she pulled her keys out of her pocket.

“Haven’t received a key yet,” Carmilla answered and pushed of the wall to land back on all four wheels.

Laura opened the door for them and Carmilla wheeled in first. Laura walked straight to her desk and rumbled through a bowl on the desk. She turned back to face the black haired girl, holding out a key.

“It’s my spare, so please don’t lose it,” she said as she handed it to Carmilla.

“I won’t,” Carmilla answered harshly. “Thanks,” followed a bit softer and a shy smile got send Laura’s way.

That tiny smile had Laura captivated and she wondered how a real smile would look on Carmilla's face. Carmilla had already made a transfer from her wheelchair to her bed when Laura realized she was still staring. To compose herself, she sat down on her chair, waking her laptop. That essay wasn't going to write itself. She looked back as she heard Carmilla making a hissing sound. Carmilla had been removing her wheeler gloves and the tiny blonde spotted some blisters.

"Auch, that must hurt," Laura said as she stood up. "Can I look?"

Carmilla looked up, closing her hands into fists. “Why? I know how to handle blisters.” The black haired girl already moved to transfer back to her wheelchair, but Laura stopped her.

“Of course, but I’m in med school. And treating your own hands isn’t easy,” Laura explained, taken aback by Carmilla’s hostile behavior.

“So?”

"So I know how to handle blisters,” Laura said, standing up to get the first aid kit.

“I’ve had blisters many times since I’m in a wheelchair, so I’m used to it,” Carmilla threw back.

“I only want to help.”

“Don’t bother.” Carmilla had reached into her backpack and had a small first aid kit in her hands when Laura returned with hers.

Stubbornly, she gathered some plasters and started taping. With one hand she succeeded, the other was a different story. Laura watched her struggle for a couple of moments and shot into action. Without saying anything, she taped the remaining blisters and threw away the plastic covers. Carmilla let her do it, but with a hard look on her face.

“You’re welcome. My name is Laura, by the way, since you never asked,” she said as she placed back her first aid kit and sat down behind her laptop.

She never received an answer and when the door slammed close, Laura noticed Carmilla had left. Sighing she shook her head and finally started working on her essay.

~~~

Carmilla was seething. What was that girl thinking? That she was a poor disabled person? That she couldn’t take care of herself? That she was helpless because she’s in a freakin’ wheelchair? When her eyes were too turbid to drive, she stopped and slammed with her fists into her legs. They were useless and were the fault of all her trouble. She kept slamming into them until her hands hurt and then some more. A soft hand on her shoulder made her stop and look up. Behind her stood a tall girl with curly hair stuck in a high ponytail. She smiled friendly at her and held out her phone.

_˃˃Are you alright?˂˂_

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… frustrated,” Carmilla replied and she noticed the girl stared intensely at her lips.

The girl nodded and typed out a message. She handed the phone over to Carmilla.

_˃˃Wanna talk about it?˂˂_

Carmilla looked up at the girl, she looked nice enough.

“No, I’ll be fine. Thanks anyway,” she finally said.

The girl just nodded again, typing away at her phone. Carmilla frowned, she wondered what that was about.

_> >You’re Carmilla, right? I’m Perry, the floor counselor. Here for all your problems ;)<< _

Carmilla chuckled at that. “Nice to meet you. Can I ask you something?” Perry nodded expectantly. “Why do you type out your messages? I mean…” she stopped talking, Perry was already typing.

>>I’m deaf.<<

The black haired girl read the message and immediately looked up at Perry apologizing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

_> >It’s okay and you don’t have to be sorry. It’s just me. I mean, I don’t think you want anyone to pity you?<< _

Carmilla chuckled and shook her head. “No. You’re right, you’re just you,” she said with a sincere smile.

_> >Yes, I am. Are you going to be alright though?<< _

“Yeah, don’t worry. Thanks.” Perry just nodded and walked away.

Carmilla looked after her and wheeled to Mattie’s room. She knocked and waited for answer.

“Who is it?” sounded muffled from behind the door.

“It’s me, Carm.”

“Come in.” Carmilla pushed the door open and wheeled in.

She laughed at the sight before her. Mattie lay lazily in her bed on her stomach watching TV. Ell lay next to Mattie on her back, a laptop situated on her stomach and typing away. Every once in awhile they looked at each other and kiss. Carmilla closed the door and transferred out of her chair onto Ell’s unoccupied bed. Mattie was the first to look at the raven haired girl.

“So, how is your roommate?” she asked, turning down the sound of the TV. Carmilla sighed, feeling the anger boil up at the thought of Laura.

“She’s horrible. A know it all and curious to the freakin’ bone! O, and she thought I couldn’t handle my own blisters.” Carmilla held up her hands to show her now taped off blisters.

“You forgot your gloves again?” Ell asked without looking up.

“Yeah. Whatever, I’ve had blisters on my blisters. She thinks I’m some pathetic girl who needs help with everything!” Carmilla exclaimed.

“She said that?” Mattie asked, looking pointing at the other girl.

“No, but…”

“Well, then. Quit acting like a little girl,” she said, turning her attention back at the TV.

Carmilla huffed and grabbed a sketchbook and etui out of her bag. She leaned back against the wall and opened the etui to select a pencil. She grabbed one and started sketching. It was a drawing she had been working on for a while and was pretty proud of it. She was sketching her first and true love, sledge hockey. It would be a drawing of their first win with this team she was in now. She was almost finished, some of the faces needed some retouching. After this she was planning making portraits of all of the team members. The bed dipped and Mattie’s face appeared next to Carmilla’s.

“It’s coming along pretty well, you sure you choose the right profession?” she asked jokingly.

Carmilla smirked. “Positive.”

She continued her work as her mind wandered to the first time she met her new team.

**_2 months ago_ **

**_Carmilla wheeled next to Coach Logan to the locker room. She already heard loud chatter and laughter. Nervously she chewed on the inside of her cheek, she hoped they would like her. The coach opened the door to the locker room and the room fell quiet._ **

**_“Everyone, this is Carmilla Karnstein. She will fill Gladys’ spot,” the coach introduced her._ **

**_“You play left wing?” a dark skinned woman asked._ **

**_“Yes. Where do you play?” Carmilla asked._ **

**_“Right. We’ll play a lot together. Let me introduce you to the rest. That’s Ell, our number one goalie. Next to her is Beca, right defensive. Jessica, left defensive and Kitty plays center forward. And I’m Mattie, left wing and captain.”_ **

**_Carmilla nodded, memorizing the faces and names._ **

**_“Welcome to the team,” Mattie added, smiling friendly._ **

**_“Thanks.”_ **

**_Most of the girls were in a wheelchair, only two of them could walk. Mattie was one of them, but as Carmilla would later learn, she walked with a prosthetic. Mattie was a war veteran, even though she only served less than two years. During her first tour, her Humvee drove into a roadside bomb and she lost a part of her left leg. Mattie doesn’t talk much about it, it’s too painful. Ell has been a paraplegic since she was born, due to spina bifida_**.

“Carm!” Carmilla startled out of her memories and looked into a smirking face of Mattie.

“Hmm? What?” she asked distraught.

“We’re going to bed. You should to, it’s an early day tomorrow,” Mattie said.

“Yeah, okay. At what time are we expected for practice?” Carmilla asked as she dropped the sketchbook and etui back in her backpack.

“Seven.”

The dark haired girl groaned as she transferred into her wheelchair. “That’s early. Alright, goodnight.”

She waved at Ell and left the room. As she wheeled through the hallways she checked her watch, it was almost nine o’clock. She stifled a yawn and opened the door of her room without knocking. She stopped dead in her tracks as she spotted Laura and some pretty blonde in Laura’s bed making out. When she got over the initial shock, she closed the door and wheeled to her bed.

“Please, don’t mind me. I’m only your roommate,” she mumbled, grabbing her stuff for a quick shower.

The making out on Laura’s bed stopped. “Sorry. I hadn’t expect you back so soon,” Laura said. “This is Janice, my girlfriend.”

Carmilla only nodded at her and made her way to the bathroom.

“That’s your new roommate? Cozy,” she heard Janice say and unconsciously rolled her eyes.

She sighed as she saw there was no seat in the shower, even though she had asked about it. She looked around the shower and saw a low stool. She shrugged, that would do it. A knock on the door startled her.

“Yes?” she asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

“Are you okay in there? I mean, do you need any help?” Laura asked softly.

Okay, now _that_ pissed her off. “I’m fine. Go back to sucking faces,” Carmilla snapped.

“Sorry for asking,” Laura mumbled and shuffled off.

Carmilla sighed, maybe she shouldn’t have reacted like that. She didn’t know what it was about Laura, but the girl somehow always managed to get on her nerves and they’ve only met this morning. Must be a record, Carmilla mused as she turned on the shower. While the water ran, she undressed and with a little trouble, she managed to transfer to the stool. How she would get back, she would see when she was done. She let the warm water sooth the aching muscles in her arms and closed her eyes.

~~~

“You think I should go?” Janice asked as Laura came back sitting next to her on the bed.

“Nah. It’s only my roommate from hell,” Laura responded as she snuggled into Janice. “So you want to go to this party Saturday?” she asked.

“Yeah, sounds like fun. Is the usual gang there to?” Janice asked, referring to Perry and LaF.

“I think so, yes.” Janice nodded and pulled her girlfriend even closer to her.

Laura looked up, smiled and kissed her. Someone clearing their throat made them look up. Laura’s eyes widened at the sight before her. Carmilla’s hair hung damp around her face on her shoulders and she was wearing a white tank top and shorts. Laura felt her pulse quicken at the sight and quickly diverted her eyes. She shouldn’t get flurried at the sight of a barely dressed Carmilla. She had a girlfriend for crying out loud.

“I uh, I’m turning in. I have to be up at six tomorrow,” Carmilla said, pulling Laura out of her train of thoughts.

“O, of course. I’ll be out of your hair,” Janice said as she untangled herself from Laura and stood up.

Laura looked up confused, her mind was still processing the sight of the raven haired girl.

“You don’t necessarily have to go. I’m just going to sleep,” Carmilla said as she transferred into her bed.

“I was about to leave anyway,” Janice said.

“You were?” Laura managed to get out.

“Yes, I have to get up early for a lecture on Biology and you should finish that essay,” Janice smirked, leaning forward to kiss Laura. “Night, love,” she whispered and left the room.

The room fell silent and Carmilla turned to look at Laura, who looked a bit stunned at the door.

“I’m sorry I scared her away,” she said softly.

Laura looked up still a bit flurried and a bit surprised, she wasn’t used to a friendly Carmilla. She pulled herself quickly together the best she could to act normal.

“It’s fine. Why are you getting up so early?” she asked.

“I have practice at seven. I’ll be quiet.” Laura nodded, grabbed her laptop from her desk and sat it on her lap.

Carmilla sat up as well, she needed to apologize to the girl. “Look, I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier in the shower. I… I hate how people treat me because I’m in a wheelchair, like I’m a moron. There’s nothing wrong with my brain and if I need help, I’ll ask,” she rambled, the tone of her voice grew sharper.

“O…okay. I’m sorry. I think it’s an instinct to help people, even when they’re not in a wheelchair or something. I’ll wait ‘till you ask for help, okay?” Laura said, taken aback by the sharp tone.

“Thank you. Goodnight cupcake.” With that Carmilla laid back down and pulled the covers over her tired body.

Laura stared at her with a gaping mouth. Carmilla felt Laura’s eyes burning in her back and sighed. That wasn’t how she planned how this conversation would go. It was definitely Laura, she never reacted like this. While thinking about Laura, she slipped into dream world, funny enough Laura played a leading part in her dreams…


	2. Partytime

When Laura woke up the next morning, Carmilla was gone indeed. Laura rubbed her eyes, she had apparently fallen asleep behind her laptop. She did remember dreaming and dear god, those were quite steamy. A certain raven haired girl had played the lead. Laura closed the lid and placed it on the ground. She stretched out her arms yawning, her mind wandering to her mysterious roommate. She had noticed Carmilla was a restless sleeper, she kept tossing and turning. Perhaps it was because this was a strange surrounding for the girl or something else was bothering her. Laura’s phone started vibrating on her desk and the brunette jumped out of bed, careful to not step on her laptop. She grabbed her phone and saw she had a text from Perry.

_> >Where are you??<<_

Laura saw she had multiple texts and checked the time. Four minutes past nine.

“Crap.”

Quickly she texted Perry back that she had overslept and was on her way. She grabbed her jeans from the floor and a sweater from the chair and ran out of the door with her shoes in her hand. On the top of the stairs she stopped to pull them on and sped down the stairs. She was supposed to interpret for Perry during her first college, which started fifteen minutes ago. On her way outside, she passed a mirror and saw her hair was a disaster. She sighed and while running to the building where Perry was waiting for her, she felt around in her bag for her beanie. Soon enough she found it and while running she pulled it over her head. Gasping for air, she arrived and entered the classroom. She searched for Perry, who was impatiently waiting for her on the lowest row of chairs. Laura rushed over.

“Sorry,” she signed.

Perry grimaced and Laura turned her attention to the professor to start interpret for Perry. This would totally be her day…

~~~

The ice in this rink was the smoothest Carmilla ever had the luck to cross. Her sledge reacted perfectly and her puck handling couldn’t be better. She felt amazing playing again.

“Carm!”

She looked up and saw Mattie had a perfect position in front of the goal. The only problem was, Jess stood in the way. Carmilla skated towards Jess, shot the puck around her, picked it up again and had a clear shot to Mattie. Mattie received the puck good and shot it in the goal. The whistle sounded and all of them came skating towards the boards where the coach was waiting for them.

“Good training guys. Carmilla, keep up the good work, you work really well with Mattie. Keep that game between you two going, we might come a long way with it,” she started.

“Thank you, coach,” Carmilla said and looked over at Mattie, who winked.

“This Saturday we have a qualification game against Brazil. We have the advantage, we’re playing home. The training and match rosters are hanging in the locker room. Study them and remember them. Now go cool off and then off the ice,” the coach ordered.

“You’re scoring points,” Ell teased as they calmly skated around the rink.

“I feel I still need to earn my place, you know,” Carmilla admitted.

“You so belong in this team, don’t you worry about it!” Ell pointed out and grinned.

“Guys, after the game there’s this party in a club nearby. You all in?” Beca asked.

“I’m in!” Ell reacted enthusiastically. “It’s been too long since I’ve had a good party,” she added.

The others agreed as well, only Carmilla hadn’t reacted. “Greenie, you in?” Beca asked.

Carmilla looked around her, all of them were looking expectantly at her. “Sure, why not. Could be fun, especially if we win,” she said.

“Of course we win!” Mattie yelled.

They all started chanting Team Canada and Ell nudged Carmilla until she joined in as well. After a good fifteen minutes they all were cooled off enough and left the ice. With a little assistance, Carmilla transferred into her wheelchair and got challenged by Beca for a race to the locker room. Carmilla didn’t let this go and raced after Beca. Yeah, she definitely fitted in. If only she would fit in with Laura…

~~~

_“I’m so sorry I was late.”_

Laura and Perry were walking over the campus to Laura’s next class. Laura was still wearing her beanie, she probably wouldn’t take it off for the rest of the day.

 _“Why were you late?”_ Perry asked, still a bit angry. Laura sighed thinking about last night. “You weren’t doing her, were you?”

 _“No! Iew! I was working on my Lit-paper for English until far past midnight,”_ Laura replied, her mind subconsciously drifted to her dreams that night.

She shook her head, what was wrong with her? She was happy with Janice. Right? She had noticed Janice had become distant lately and she couldn’t help but wonder if she had done something wrong. As far as she could think off not. Perhaps she was just seeing things. Talking about seeing things, Carmilla in a tight white tank top made her flurry all over again.

 _“Okay. Did you finish it?”_ Perry asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

 _“Almost. It just needs a finishing touch is all,”_ Laura said, stopping at #307, her favorite coffee shop, to get her daily fix.

Perry followed her, needing a cup of coffee as well. As Laura was ordering their drinks, Perry looked around her. The shop was mostly empty, save for one corner. It was taken by a bunch of girls, most of them were in a wheelchair. Perry did a double take on the group and spotted Carmilla among them. The raven haired girl was laughing at something and Perry thought the girl looked so different from the night before in the hallway. She looked more relaxed and at ease. A soft bump against her shoulder made her look up, Laura was standing next to her with her coffee. Perry took it with a smile and walked out of the shop with Laura. Through the window Perry looked back at the group and smiled as her eyes locked with Carmilla’s. She stopped dead in her tracks as she noticed Laura was no longer walking next to her. She looked back and saw the brunette looking through the window as well. Perry walked back and waved to get Laura’s attention.

 _“You okay there?”_ she asked.

_“That’s Carmilla. What is she doing here?”_

_“Having a coffee,”_ Perry deadpanned.

_“Duh.”_

_“Come on. You’ll be late,”_ Perry urged the brunette to continue their way to classes.

Finally, Laura followed Perry. She hadn’t expected to see Carmilla here and so different from last night. She appeared way more relaxed and at ease. It suited her and made her even more attractive than she already was. Laura closed her eyes, she really needed to stop thinking about Carmilla.

 _“Are you looking forward to Saturday?”_ Perry asked.

 _“Saturday?_ ” Laura asked confused.

“ _Yeah. Party? At Silas?_ ” Perry chuckled, clearly Laura was far away with her thoughts.

 _“O yeah! It’s going to be a blast. I saw there’s a really good DJ,_ ” Laura reacted enthusiastically, pushing Carmilla out of her head.

“ _Cool. They can’t get any worse than that last DJ,”_ Perry joked.

Laura shook her head laughing and stopped in front of the building she had classes for the rest of the day. _“See you at lunch?”_ she asked.

“ _I don’t know. LaF wanted to show me something, so maybe. I’ll late you know,”_ Perry answered.

_“Okay. See you.”_

They hugged and Laura skipped up the stairs, into the building. Perry shook her head at her best friend’s antics and walked off as well.

~~~

At the end of the day, Laura walked into her bedroom, finding a reading Carmilla on her bed. Laura frowned and sat down her bag.

“Something wrong with your bed?” she asked.

“Nope. Yours was just closer,” Carmilla replied without looking up.

Laura just rolled her eyes and sat down behind her laptop. She needed to send her essay in today and she was not even finished. She didn’t need Carmilla distracting her, like she had been doing all day. Something was bothering her however, so she turned to face Carmilla.

“Was that you and your team in #307?” Laura asked.

That made Carmilla look up and squint her eyes. “What is it to you?”

"Nothing. I just… saw you there. Sorry for asking,” Laura said as she turned back to her laptop.

Carmilla sighed, lowering her book. She needed to make some effort. “Yeah, that was my team. We had just done training,” she answered.

“Had a good training?” the brunette asking, looking over her shoulder to Carmilla.

“Yeah. We have a game this Saturday against Brazil, we’re ready,” Carmilla said not without proud.

“Good for you. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Carmilla smiled slightly at the brunette, who tentatively smiled back. Both turned back to what they were doing, for the first time with a comfortable silence between them. Over her book Carmilla looked at the brunette, who was typing furiously away. Maybe she wasn’t that bad, maybe they would get along eventually. At least the brunette didn’t get on her nerves today. And to be honest, Laura was quite a nice sight for sore eyes. Carmilla smirked at the thought, Laura was kind of hot. If she wouldn’t be so busy with training and all, she might even give it a shot. Carmilla diverted her eyes quickly, she had made it clear to herself, no girlfriends until after the Paralympics. Of course, love couldn’t be stopped, but she could try to stay clear of it. Which wouldn’t be hard, seeing Laura was already seeing someone.

“Do you miss your family?”

Carmilla looked up, staring into a pair of green eyes staring at her. “Uh, I miss my brother, yeah. How about you?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s just my dad and me.”

There was something sad in Laura’s voice and Carmilla fought the urge to go and hug her. That would be weird, right?

“Do you see him often?” Carmilla asked.

“During breaks, yeah. So, not that often. Are you close with your brother?” Laura asked, changing the subject.

Carmilla smiled, a real smile this time. “Yeah. He is four years younger, but we’ve always have been close. Especially since…” her voice trailed off, realizing what she was about to say.

“Since?” the brunette asked.

Carmilla’s face hardened, her smile fell of her face. “Nothing. Just… forget it.”

She picked up her book and pretended to read. Startled, Laura looked at her and when Carmilla gave no reacting at all, she turned back to her laptop. She tried to figure out what just had happened, but came up blank. She didn’t see Carmilla’s shaking body, nor did she see the silent tears running over her cheeks. Maybe if she did, she’d jumped up to comfort the girl. But she didn’t and the uncomfortable silence fell between them once again…

~~~

Saturday rolled around and Carmilla was pumped for the game. The Brazil team looked impressive, but she had checked previous matches of them and she had found some weak spots. Most girls were big and strong, but slow. Their girls were mostly small, but quick. They had to use that to their advantage. Carmilla stood behind Mattie, strapped tightly on her sledge and wearing the full gear, including pads and helmet. She felt nervous, but she  always felt nervous before a game. She wished her brother was here, this was the first game he wouldn’t be attending. The sudden miss of her brother stabbed her in the heart and she took a ragged breath.

“Karnstein, you okay there?”  Mattie looked back at her, worried.

“Yeah, just nervous. I’ll be fine.”

Mattie nodded and when the door to the ice opened, she set off and slided onto the ice. Carmilla shook off the nasty feeling and followed Mattie onto the ice. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she saw the tribunes were overflowing with supporters from both sides. She hadn't realized how popular the teams were and she loved it. They formed a circle on their side of the rink.

"Alright, now it's up to us. Stick to the plans. Carmilla, you stick with me to work our magic. Let's go get them!" Mattie said, pumping them up.

They started cheering and after battle cry, as Ell called it, they split up to take their positions. Carmilla skated off to the left, watching Mattie as they waited for the puck to fall onto the ice. After a short battle, Mattie won the puck and passed it on to Carmilla. Carmilla immediately shot forward, playing around the defense. From the corner of her eyes she saw Mattie was following her and when she ran into a wall of players, she passed the puck back to Mattie. Mattie skated around the wall and scored easily. Cheering, Carmilla skated off to her spot on their half and knew the real work was starting now. And she was right, the Brazil team was like a steamroller. Within a few minutes they scored twice in a row. When the third wave of the Brazil team came, Carmilla and her team were prepared. Beca was the one to confiscate the puck and passed immediately off to Kitty, who pushed through the defense of the other team to pass the puck off to Carmilla. The raven haired saw her chance and shot forward. Within seconds she stood before the goal and rocketed the puck to the left corner. The light flashed on and Carmilla smirked. The whistle sounded, the first period was done. Carmilla made her way to the boards and slide behind it. One of the assisting coaches handed her a water bottle, which she accepted gladly. Gulping down the water, she waited for the rest of the team to gather.

“Great goal, Karnstein!” Beca slammed her on the back.

The water she had just in her mouth came splattering out and coughing Carmilla looked smirking at Beca. “Thanks, dude,” she said.

“Alright everyone. The Brazils are strong, I give ‘m that. But that comeback was brilliant. Really good teamwork. All I can say is, keep up the good work!”

Carmilla nodded and let her eyes glide over the tribune, subconsciously searching for a familiar face. Her glancing stocked at two familiar face. That of Laura and Perry. What were they doing here? At that moment, Laura looked down and their eyes locked. The brunette waved hesitantly at her and Carmilla waved back. Laura’s face lit up and nudged Perry, who smiled brightly at her, sticking up two thumbs. Carmilla’s smile grew and shaking her head she looked away as Mattie started to give a pep talk. Carmilla hardly listened, the knowledge Laura was watching her gave her a warm and fuzzy feeling. It confused her, how was she falling for the annoying ball of energy that was Laura? She was always on her nerves and still she liked it when she unexpectedly appeared at a game? A rough nudge against her shoulder pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Karnstein, what’s wrong with you? We’re up!”

Mattie looked a bit worried at her and Carmilla quickly nodded. “I’m fine. Let’s finish this.”

As Mattie made her way onto the ice, Carmilla dared to look up one more time to the stands, finding Laura watching her. As soon as their eyes locked, Laura beamed a bright smile at her, sticking up two thumbs. Carmilla smirked at the dorky antics and pushed her sledge on the ice. She hoped she would get her head in the game, knowing she was being watched…

~~~

 _“I had no idea this was so fun!_ ” Perry exclaimed.

Laura chuckled. “ _Me neither.”_

With her eyes she followed Carmilla, she looked amazing out there. Laura could see Carmilla was passionate about this sport and she was pretty good at it. Going to the game had been a spontaneous idea by LaF, who was wondering what sledge hockey actually was. Laura looked over at her friend, who was sucked completely into the game. The swelling cheering made Laura look back onto the ice and saw Carmilla and a teammate were advancing toward the goal of the Brazil team. Laura found herself standing up as Carmilla positioned herself for the shot. The puck slid over to her and with one powerful shot, the puck flew into the goal. The cheering was earsplitting and Laura was partaking in it gladly. Down on the ice the Canadian team were celebrating as well. A nudge on her arm made Laura look down at Perry.

_“She’s amazing!”_

_“Yeah, she is. I really had no idea, but that sport is awesome!”_

_“Totally agree, why haven’t I heard of this before?”_ LaF interjected all excited.

Laura laughed and sat down again. The game picked up again, the Brazil team had the puck and were advancing toward the Canadian goal. A perfectly set up defense block made them lose the puck and pass off to the front. Unfortunately the puck was intercepted again. Carmilla raced after the puck and slammed a Brazil player against the boards. Battling for the puck, Carmilla used all her strength and finally skated off with the puck. She passed it to her teammate on the right and skated forward. Laura couldn’t help, but Carmilla looked pretty hot. Laura blinked, what was she thinking? She had a girlfriend and Carmilla was a pain in the ass. Laura shook her head internally, she was not doing this. She was not falling for her roommate. Everyone around her gasped and a disappointed groan sounded through the stadium. On the other side of the stadium a party broke out, indicating a goal for the Brazil team. Laura immediately searched for Carmilla, who skated disappointed around the goal to get back to her spot. Laura watched her look up and search the stands. Finally Carmilla’s eyes landed on her and Laura waved at her. Carmilla’s face lit up and a small wave followed. Laura wished she could run down and give Carmilla an encouraging hug or something. Shaking these confusing thoughts away, she waved back at Carmilla. Carmilla looked away as one teammate pulled her attention to hunt after the puck. Laura watched her roommate stealing the puck and racing towards the goal. Laura’s eyes wandered to the scoreboard and saw there were only seconds left of the second period. A blaring alarm sounded through the stadium, signaling another goal. Laura looked quickly down, seeing Carmilla skated off with a big goofy smile on her face. Immediately after the referee whistled, the second period was done.

“Hey Hollis, you want something to drink?” LaF asked.

“Beer, please,” Laura replied.

“Bold, Hollis, bold. Are you planning to get drunk already?” LaF teased her.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” the brunette smirked.

LaF crawled around Laura, Perry followed them closely. Laura looked after them smirking, she wondered how long it would take for them to become a couple. She averted her eyes back to the benches where Carmilla was standing in her sledge. It looked like they were getting a pep talk by their coach.

~~~

Carmilla loosened her gloves, she wouldn’t be playing for another ten minutes. Laying the gloves on her lap, she clenched and unclenched her hands to get the blood flowing. The coach was talking strategy, they would have to make their lead bigger to really finish the Brazils off.

“We’re on the winning hand with 4-3, but we have to make another goal to stay ahead. Mattie and Carmilla, try that thing you did at practice the other day. It might surprise them. Their defense is strong, but our speed can break that defense. Defense, don’t let up, I don’t want another puck in our net, understood?” Beca and Jessica nodded. “Good. Rest up and drink enough. This last period is important,” the coach finished her rant.

Carmilla grabbed the water bottle and subconsciously glanced up the stands. She almost immediately spotted Laura and saw she was sitting on her own. Perry and that girl had disappeared. Carmilla frowned, would they have left Laura all by herself? She shrugged, why would she care? A nudge against her shoulder made her look sideways, finding Mattie next to her who was looking curious at her.

“You got a lover up there or something? You keep glancing up,” she teased.

“No. Laura is here.”

“Laura? As in the roommate you hate so much?”

“Yeah. No idea why the hell she is here. Didn’t think this would interest her,” Carmilla replied.

“Well, maybe she is just interested in you,” Mattie teased even more.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “I doubt it. She has a girlfriend.”

Mattie glanced up as well. “I don’t see said girlfriend,” she smirked. “I think you two would look cute,” she added.

“Oh, shut up. We wouldn’t. We would be killing each other,” the dark haired girl objected.

“I hear those kind of people make the juiciest couples,” Mattie smirked.

Carmilla just shook her head, she would not win this discussion. She emptied her water bottle and sat it down on the bench. Without paying any more attention to Mattie’s teasing glances, she pulled on her gloves and grabbed her sticks.

“Just stick by what you’re good at,” Carmilla threw back.

“Which is?”

“Being the ice queen,” Carmilla winked and pushed herself out of the box, onto the ice.

Luckily, she had estimated it right and the Brazil team entered the ice as well. Mattie was by her side within a few seconds.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Karnstein,” she said as she passed Carmilla.

Carmilla only smirked and skated around their goal to get to her position. Just before the whistle sounded, she looked up and saw Laura was no longer alone. Her friends had returned with what looked like drinks. It was like Laura felt she was being watched, because she looked at Carmilla almost immediately after Carmilla looked at her. Two thumbs were raised and Carmilla smirked at the dorky antics. Her attention got pulled back to the game as the whistle sounded, the game was back on. Mattie won the battle for the puck and passed it off to Carmilla. Carmilla immediately shot forward, swerving around the defenders, ducking under an arm and scored. The coach was right, their speed was surprising the Brazils. As she made her way back to their half, the Brazils were already charging toward their goal. Carmilla turned sharply to stop the center forward player, but the girl played the puck off to her teammate behind her. The girl smirked at her and Carmilla felt the urge to bash into her. She thought of it otherwise and chased after the puck with Beca by her side. They chased the girl with the puck behind the goal and Mattie crashed right into her. Carmilla used the chaos to her advantage and stole the puck. She looked around her to see who was free and passed it off to Jessica. Jessica saw her change and shot forward. Most of the Brazil players were behind the Canadian goal, so Jessica had an almost free field before her. She swerved around the lone defender, played the goalie and scored. Carmilla looked up at the score board, it was 5 to 2 and there were only minutes left on the time. She smirked and skated around the Canadian goal to pick up Mattie and Beca. Beca intercepted the puck pretty soon and playing the puck around a bit to prolong, Mattie saw another change and shot through the defense. Unfortunately, the goalie saw her coming and stopped the goal. In the last minute the Brazils made another desperate go at the Canadian goal, which ended in the puck on Ell’s stick and a few crashed players in the boards. Carmilla picked up the puck from Ell and knew it would be a piece of cake to score now. She sped up towards the Brazil goal and scored just before the whistle sounded, indicating the third was finished and the game was over. Carmilla got buried under her teammates, she let it overwhelm her. This had been one hell of a game, but they were no way near being secured of a place at the championships this year. After a victory round, they left the ice and Carmilla transferred back into her wheelchair. She looked up to see how thrilled Laura was, but she was gone. Frantically, Carmilla scanned the crowd but didn’t find the bubbly brunette. Had she seen that last goal? Or had she already left before that? Carmilla wondered why she cared. Deep down she knew the answer, she liked it that Laura had come to see her and it even had sparked some feelings.

“Carm, come on! Time to party!” Beca pulled her out of her thoughts.

Carmilla nodded and followed the gang out of the ice rink. It was time to celebrate, she would figure out her confusing feelings for Laura later.

~~~

The deep beats greeted the three friends way before the entrance of the club. _“Sounds like a good party,_ ” Perry smirked.

 _“I would say so, yeah. Let’s get in. Laura, is Janice meeting us inside?”_ LaF asked.

When they were with the three of them, they hardly spoke out loud. None of them felt the need to, sign language was integrated in their lives by now.

“ _Yes. Haven’t heard from her, so I think so._ ”

Laf just nodded and pulled out their ticket to get in. Soon enough they were surrounded by dancing bodies and a pumping beat. Laura looked around her to find her girlfriend. Finally she spotted the blonde hair belonging to Janice near the bar. She signaled to Perry and LaF she would be right back and made her way through the crowd. When she almost reached the bar, she came to an abrupt stop. Janice was near the bar alright, sucking the face of some girl. No, not some girl. It was Betty, her old roommate and friend…


	3. Betrayed

After a short pit stop at her room, Carmilla was on her way to the club for that party. In front of her building, she found her team waiting for her and Mattie.

“Mattie not here yet?” she asked.

“Nope. She’s so vainly,” Beca complained.

“Stop whining, Becs. I can remember one time in Germany…” Ell started.

“We agreed to never speak of that time again!” Beca protested, slapping Ell’s arm.

“What happened in Germany?” Carmilla asked curious.

“Our very own Beca was spotted in a dress,” Jessica told, earning a loud groan from Beca.

Carmilla smirked, Beca was totally not the type for a dress. If anything, Carmilla would describe her as a typical butch. Short hair, piercings and tattoos, always wearing jeans, sneakers and some kind of a band shirt.

“Hey uhm, Becs?” Jessica tried to get Beca’s attention.

Jessica held up the ticket for the party. “Why didn’t you say it was a gay party?”

The group erupted in laughter. Most of them were gay or bi, Jessica was the only one who was straight.

“I’m sorry. I keep forgetting you’re straight,” Beca laughed.

Luckily, Jessica laughed along with them. “Well, you don’t have to worry I’ll go after your girl,” she joked. The laughter grew louder at that statement. Mattie finally arrived and the gang was on their way. The deep sounds of a bass drifted their way when the approached the club.

“Sounds like a good party!” Beca exclaimed excitingly.

They showed their tickets and proceeded to the entrance.

Carmilla was about to enter the club as she saw a familiar silhouette near the wall.

“I’ll see you guys inside,” she said and drove off to the person sitting on the ground with their knees propped up to their chest.

“Laura?”

The person looked up and it was indeed Laura. Her make-up was smudged and her eyes were red and puffy. She furrowed her brow in confusion.

“Carmilla?”

Carmilla stopped before Laura, bowing down to see eye to eye with the clearly upset brunette. “Are you alright?” she asked worried, hesitant to put her hands on top of Laura’s knees.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just…” her voice cracked as a memory flashed before her eyes.

“You’re anything but fine. What happened?” Carmilla pushed, no more hesitating and putting her hands on Laura’s knees.

“Janice,” Laura choked.

“Your girlfriend?” Laura just nodded, fighting the tears back and failing miserably. “What did she do?” Carmilla sounded angry.

“Laura!”

The brunette flinched under Carmilla’s hands and the dark haired looked up, staring daggers at the approaching tall red head.

“What did you do to her?” she threw at Janice.

“That’s none of your business, Wheels,” Janice said, stepping by Carmilla to kneel next to Laura. She tried to lay her arm around Laura, but the brunette moved away. “Laura, I’m sorry.”

“What did you say?”

Janice looked up, her eyes were spitting fire to Carmilla. “I said, it’s none of your business, Wheels.”

Carmilla shot forward and grabbed Janice by the arm. With an immense force she pushed Janice against the wall. “Don’t you ever dare to call me that again, Barbie. And leave Laura alone,” she hissed.

“She’s my girlfriend, so no,” Janice bit back, wrestling against Carmilla’s strong grip.

“I don’t think she wants you near, right Laura?” Carmilla looked aside at Laura, who had scrambled to her feet and was now staring with big eyes at them.

“Well, uh, I think we need to talk,” Laura said with a small voice.

Carmilla let go of Janice, who pushed Carmilla off her for good measure. Carmilla just smirked and looked back at Laura. “You sure, creampuff? Just call if you need me,” she said with a soft voice.

“Since when are you so caring, huh?” Janice asked with a hand on her hip.

“Just shut it, Barbie.”

Carmilla glanced one more time at Laura, who nodded at her and wheeled off to the club. Laura waited for Carmilla to disappear inside and glared daggers at Janice.

“What the hell, Janice? With Betty of all people?” she asked furiously.

“It just happened!” Janice protested.

“How many times did it ‘just happen?’ This didn’t look like your first rodeo with her!” Laura said, becoming angrier with her girlfriend, who probably would be soon her ex-girlfriend. Janice looked away from Laura at her hands, shuffling with her feet. “How many times, Janice?!”

Janice finally looked up. “Not so much. A couple.” Laura only raised her eyebrows at Janice. “Okay fine. We hooked up at least five times,” Janice finally admitted.

“At least?” Laura asked, her eyebrows raising even higher.

“I, uh, I lost count.”

Laura stared at Janice for a moment with her mouth wide open. “O, this is just great. Just great, Janice. I hope you get happy with her, because you don’t have to come back to me if she dumps your ass.”

Laura started walking away, when Janice grabbed her arm. “Don’t be such a hypocrite.”

The brunette turned on her heels, her eyes spitting fire. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve seen how you look at Carmilla. Don’t tell me you’re not having feelings for her,” Janice said, her grip getting even tighter.

“I don’t. And even if I should have said feelings, it’s none of your business anymore. We’re through.”

Laura yanked her arm free and walked off. Janice stayed behind, fuming. Laura pushed herself to keep walking and not turn around to run crying back to Janice, telling how much she loved her. She swallowed thickly, trying to keep the tears at bay. As she walked away from the club, she shot a quick text at LaF and Perry, telling she wasn’t feeling well. Which wasn’t far from the truth, she felt like throwing up.

“You’re not going to walk back to campus on your own, are you?”

Laura almost jumped out of her skin at the voice in the dark. Carmilla came wheeling out of the dark and looked up at her. “Jeez. Are you spying on me?” was all Laura could come up with.

Carmilla smirked. “Would you mind?” Laura thought on that and to be honest, she wouldn’t, so she shook her head. “Phew. Good,” Carmilla winked. “Are you alright?” she asked, her voice softened.

For a moment Laura wondered what had happen to change Carmilla’s behavior towards her, but to be honest, she didn’t care much.

“Yeah. No. Janice cheated on me,” Laura told the dark haired girl.

“What a bitch. Do you want me to beat her up? I can crush her shins pretty good,” Carmilla offered.

Laura laughed, which sounded strangled and strange. “No, but thanks. I guess we weren’t meant to be,” she sighed, plopping down in the wet grass next to the sidewalk. “It really sucks. This is probably the last night I really can go out,” she continued.

“How’s that?”

Laura looked up and realized how beautiful Carmilla looked in the vague moonlight. She had seen it before, but it was like she had blinkers on until now. “Tomorrow I start working the night shift at the hospital. So no more partying for me.”

“Wow, intense. So, let’s go back and party the hell out of tonight,” Carmilla suggested.

Laura shook her head. “And have the chance to run into Janice and that goof? I’ll pass.”

“Come on, you can’t let her ruin your night.”

“She already has,” Laura deadpanned.

“Oh, come on. Show her you don’t need her,” Carmilla pushed.

Laura looked up. “I can’t. Not yet. We’ve been together for almost a year.”

“I’m sorry.”

A somewhat comfortable silence fell between them, both thinking about the other.

“Carmilla?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? I thought you hated me. I kinda hated you,” Laura admitted, looking up at the girl in the wheelchair.

Carmilla chuckled. “I don’t hate you.”

“But you’ve been bitching at me ever since we met. You made it pretty clear you don’t like me,” Laura deducted for her.

“I was just pissed that I had to share a room with a stranger and I kind of hold a grudge,” she said.

“No kidding.”

Carmilla smirked. “I’m not like you, Laura. I don’t like strangers and I don’t make friends as quick as you.”

“Who said I do?”

“Come on, you’re one of the easiest going person I ever met. I’ve been let down by people I trust too many times. You can say I have trust issues. I didn’t hate you, I hated the way you took me in without too much fuss, even lending me your spare key,” Carmilla continued.

“What did you wanted me to do? Kick you out? I’m not that kind of a person,” Laura protested.

“I know, and… I don’t know. You were so bubbly and cheery. And the way you wanted to help me with my blisters. It was sweet. I’m just too much of an ego tripper to let you do it,” the girl admitted with a slight smirk.

“Good to know. Next time you get to take care of your own blisters. No more help from your personal nurse,” Laura said decisively.

This made Carmilla laugh out loud, Laura joined in quickly. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch,” Carmilla said when they calmed down.

“Sorry to be so easy going,” Laura shot back with a wink.

“You’re forgiven.”

“You too.”

They stared at each other, both feeling something was happening between them. Carmilla was the first to break the silence by grabbing Laura by the hand and pulling her to her feet. “Time to go back?” she asked.

“Yeah, okay.”

They started to make their way back to the club.

“I saw your game today, by the way,” Laura said.

“I know, I saw you, remember?” Carmilla answered smirking.

“Duh. Anyway, great game. You’re really good.”

“Thanks. I liked it you were there,” Carmilla admitted shyly.

Laura looked aside at her new friend smiling. “It was my pleasure. When is the next game?” she asked.

“Not in a couple of weeks. In the world of sledge hockey aren’t that many teams. The next team we play is China,” she explained.

“China, wow. Are they good?”

Carmilla frowned and nodded. “Yeah, it’s going to be a tough game. That game will determine who goes to the championships,” she said.

“Wow. Well, if you want me to, I’ll be there,” Laura offered.

Carmilla chuckled. “We’re playing out. So we’ll be playing in Hong Kong,” she said.

“No way! That’s pretty awesome!” Laura exclaimed.

Carmilla laughed at Laura’s excitement. “It is.”

They arrived at the club and Carmilla finally entered the club. Ell almost immediately came towards her.

“Where were you? I almost called the cops!” she shouted over the music.

“I ran into Laura. Sorry,” she shouted back.

Ell looked Laura over with a critical look and nodded. “We just ordered shots. Come on.”

Ell turned and drove off into the crowd. Carmilla looked up at Laura. “You going to be okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. My friends are over there,” Laura nodded towards the cozy seat against the wall.

“Okay. And if I see Janice, I can’t promise to just let her walk by,” the dark haired girl winked.

Laura chuckled. “Okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Enjoy your evening and I see you at home?” she asked, just to be sure.

“Definitely.”

Laura bend down to give Carmilla a hug, which became a bit awkward and left to join Perry and LaF. Carmilla looked after her until she was safely with her friends and made her way through the crowd to her own friends.

“There she is! We were scared you were lost!” Mattie shouted.

Carmilla just smirked and grabbed a shot of the plate. She chucked it down and set down the glass with a slam. “Time to party. We freakin’ won!” she yelled and turned her wheelchair to go back into the dancing crowd. Soon her teammates followed her and Carmilla hoped they would not ask further about where and with who she was.

Unfortunately she had no such luck. When she had left the dancefloor to get new drinks, Mattie stood beside her within seconds. The music wasn’t as loud as on the dancefloor, so they didn’t have to yell.

“So, where were you?” Mattie asked after they ordered their drinks.

Carmilla groaned. “I ran into Laura,” she said. She knew she could better be honest, Mattie liked to push.

“Laura? So?”

“She broke up with her girlfriend,” Carmilla added begrudgingly.

“And she needed a shoulder to cry on. Your shoulder,” Mattie squealed.

“Don’t get to excited, please.”

“You made a new friend!” Mattie only squealed harder.

Carmilla groaned and searched for a way out. Unfortunately, there was none. “I guess, yes,” she finally admitted.

“Yay. So she’s not as bad as you thought?” Mattie asked, her tone serious.

“No. The problem was me, we had a really good chat.”

“I’m proud of you, Karnstein,” Mattie said sincerely. She took the drinks over from the bartender. “My little girl, all grown up!”

Carmilla rolled her eyes at that and followed Mattie to their table.

~~~

Laura had it a bit easier. She had told Perry and LaF about the breakup, but hadn’t told them about Carmilla. She herself didn’t know what to think of it. She had enjoyed Carmilla’s company and from her spot on the side of the dance floor, she could watch Carmilla freely. She felt a pang of jealousy as she saw Carmilla laughing and dancing with her friends. They looked like they really had fun and Laura wished she could join them. She knew nothing was stopping her, but she felt Carmilla’s friends wouldn’t appreciate it. So instead she only watched. A hand in front of her face made her look up.

 _“You okay?”_ Perry asked.

“ _Yeah. Janice can go to hell,”_ she answered back.

 _“That’s the spirit!”_ LaF signed sloppy, making Laura raise her eyebrows at Perry.

 _“Are they drunk?”_ she asked.

“ _Very!”_ LaF answered and giggled. “ _Lez go dance!”_

She grabbed the both of them and dragged them off to the dancefloor. She started dancing, not caring she was slightly out of the beat. Laura looked over at Perry, who was staring at LaF. The brunette nudged Perry, looking confused. Perry took a deep breath, once again looking at Perry.

_“I’ll explain later. Promise.”_

LaF waved at them to join. Both Laura and Perry shrugged and joined her. LaF didn’t get often this drunk and it was kind of funny. However, Laura didn’t hope something triggered this. LaF was always pretty careful with alcohol around Perry, because they knew Perry didn’t like drunk people. Letting the beat overtake her thoughts, she closed her eyes and danced like she was alone. This caused her to trip and in her fall, someone grabbed her from behind and she landed on something soft. When she opened her eyes, she saw the smirking face of Carmilla next to hers.

“I keep saving you,” she smirked.

Laura grinned and nodded. “Yes. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, creampuff. Too much to drink?” Carmilla guessed.

Laura shook her head. “Just being me,” she said.

Carmilla smirked and helped Laura back to her feet. The music changed to a slow song and for a moment Laura and Carmilla looked at each other exploring and at the same time shook their head.

“Want to get a drink?” Laura shouted over the music.

Carmilla nodded and led the way to the bar. Laura looked behind her at Perry and LaF, who were slow dancing. She frowned, it looked like she missed something there. She would grill them as soon as she got back. Carmilla hoisted herself onto a bar stool and tried to get the bartender’s attention.

“What’s your poison?” she asked, looking aside at Laura.

“Beer, please.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow in surprise and ordered the drinks. The bartender placed a bottled beer before Laura and a whiskey before Carmilla. “Whiskey, huh?”

Carmilla just grinned and took a sip. “I think Janice left,” she said.

Laura just nodded, taking a swig of the beer. “Thank God. I don’t think those two would have let her leave in one piece,” she motioned to the still dancing Perry and LaF.

Carmilla followed her eyesight, the two were completely wrapped up in each other. “Are they together?” she asked without thinking.

The brunette next to her chuckled. “I have no idea. But it would be about damn time,” she smirked.

Silence fell between them, the beat turning up as the slow song had handed. The DJ had a favorite genre, electronic house, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“I like this song, I’ve seen Avicii live last year,” Carmilla told.

“Really? Cool. I wanted to go, but as per usual I didn’t had money,” Laura chuckled, taking another swig.

“Hey, if Perry is deaf, how is she dancing?” the raven haired girl asked, observing the dancing redhead.

“She can feel the beat through the ground. That’s why Silas is her favorite club, the acoustic is perfect for her,” Laura explained, setting down her empty bottle of beer.

Carmilla noticed how quickly that beer had gone, but decided to not bring it up. “That’s pretty cool,” she said instead.

“Yeah. Shall we join them?” Laura suggested.

“Why not.”

Carmilla emptied her glass and hopped back in her chair. She followed Laura onto the dancefloor and completely let go on the beats of the music.

~~~

Halfway the evening Laura had lost track of Carmilla and she was a bit bummed about it. She enjoyed the company of the girl, she had managed to cheer her up and made her forget about Janice. At the moment she found herself in a booth with a slightly sober Perry and LaF.

“ _So you two seem cozy tonight,”_ Laura noted casual.

 _“We’re always cozy,”_ LaF wiggled their eyebrows.

Laura just shook her head and looked back at the dancefloor. Subconsciously, she searched the floor and bar for the raven haired girl in the wheelchair. She did see some wheelchairs, but none of them were Carmilla.

 _“I saw her leave early with that dark skinned girl,”_ Perry signed.

 _“Really? She didn’t even say goodbye,”_ she tried to not sound disappointed, but failed miserably.

“ _Sorry_.”

 _“It’s fine. I’ll see her when I get back home,”_ Laura said, playing with the bottle of beer.

“ _How much did you have?”_ LaF questioned, motioning to the beer.

“Not enough,” Laura mumbled, quickly taking a swig. Both Perry and LaF were looking at her questioning, sighing she replied with one hand. _“A few.”_

 _“You know what I think about drinking,_ ” Perry reprimanded.

Laura looked at her skeptical. _“You aren’t really sober yourself, miss Perry,”_ she said.

That made Perry look away and turn red profusely. _“I know. I don’t like it,”_ she admitted.

 _“Then why did you?”_ Laura asked, truly curious.

 _“Because I needed to do something which frightened me,”_ Perry replied cryptic.

 _“Just spit it out already,”_ the brunette joked, side eyeing LaF who became very interested in a coaster on the table.

 _“I… I asked LaF out,”_ Perry finally confessed.

 _“Really? And? LaF?”_ Laura asked, looking up to LaF, who looked up as well grinning like an idiot.

 _“Of course I said yes. To be honest, she beat me to it. I wanted to ask her as well tonight,”_ they grinned, pulling Perry into their side.

Laura squealed. _“That is so cute! Congratulations guys.”_

Both of them just beamed, Perry leaning into LaF like it was nothing. It made Laura miss Janice, or it made her miss the relationship she had.

“ _You okay, Hollis?”_ LaF asked, they noticed the change in Laura’s face.

 _“I’m fine. We need to celebrate! Another round?”_ she said as cheerful as she could.

LaF nodded and Laura disappeared in the crowd to get the drinks. Both LaF and Perry knew Laura was lying, but decided to not bring it up. Yet.

~~~

It was just past two when the door of the room cracked open. It creaked a bit and Carmilla sensed someone coming in. Finally, Laura was home. She pulled the blankets tighter around her and tried to get back to sleep as she heard the silent sniffles. She turned on the light and sat up. Laura startled clearly at the bright light, she stared with wide eyes at Carmilla.

“I’ve woken you up. Sorry,” she mumbled, trying to strip out of her pants, but forgot she still had her shoes on.

Carmilla saw Laura was way too drunk to get herself into bed. She transferred into her wheelchair and softly pushed Laura into a sitting position on the bed. Willingly, Laura let Carmilla help her. As soon as her shoes were off, Carmilla pulled the pants off and dropped them on a chair. Laura in the meantime was busy to take of her shirt, but got entangled. Carmilla tried to keep her laughter down as she untangled Laura and pulled off her shirt. Laura grabbed her shorts and shirts and tried to pull them on. With a little help from Carmilla, she was dressed and rolled into her bed. Carmilla was about to return to her own bed as Laura grabbed her arm. She looked up at Carmilla with tear rimmed eyes.

“Will you stay with me?” she asked softly.

“Sure.”

Carmilla transferred onto the bed and lay down next the small brunette. Laura pulled the covers up and nestled herself into Carmilla’s arms. Both of them almost drifted off to sleep as Laura started to speak.

“I lied.”

“You lied? About what?”

“I’m not doing a rotation at the hospital. I’m joining the army.”


	4. Liar, Liar...

Laura woke up in an empty bed when she swore she had felt a warm body against her earlier, and a splitting headache. She yawned and stretched out, sitting up. She found Carmilla sitting on her bed, staring at her.

“Good morning. Creepy much?” she tried to joke as she moved to sit on the edge on her bed.

“Was it true what you said?” Carmilla asked, ignoring Laura’s lame attempt at a joke.

“True what I said? What did I say? I can’t remember much about last night, I…”

“That you’re joining the army.”

A heavy silence fell between them as Laura’s eyes grew wide and her mouth slacked open. Carmilla waited anxiously for a reply, but the longer the silence dragged on, the more she feared for the worst.

“O god, did I say that?” The girl across her just nodded tightlipped. “I… Yes, it’s true. My training starts tomorrow and I’ll be send off.”

Carmilla gasped for air, not realizing she had been holding her breath. “You can’t be serious! You’re almost done with university!” she exclaimed.

Laura shook her head. “These three years were just basics. I have to specialize, which will take another four years. And perhaps I need to specialize even more. Look, I don’t want to go to school for the rest of my life,” she said, pacing back and forward.

“You don’t have to specialize. You can just go to work,” Carmilla pleaded, cursing her lifeless legs once again.

“I do, otherwise I’ll be a resident for eternity. I want to do something. I want to help people, that’s why I went into med school,” Laura tried to explain.

She closed her eyes, she had to tell her dad. She had to tell Perry and LaF. They were going to kill her. If Carmilla didn’t beat them to it.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to join the army, Laura,” Carmilla pleaded again.

Laura came to a halt, looking at Carmilla with a pained look. “Yes, I do. It’s where I’m needed now. And I want to help those in need,” she said, sinking to her knees before Carmilla.

Carmilla grabbed Laura’s arms softly and felt like she was about to cry. “But I just found you,” she whispered.

Laura fought tears back as well. In the short amount of time, she had started to care deeply for Carmilla, despite their rocky start. Carmilla had been there for her when Janice hadn’t been.

“I know. I didn’t know you would cross my path,” she replied softly, looking up with hazy eyes.

Carmilla pulled her closer, Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s back. Her head rested just under Carmilla’s midriff and she felt the breaths Carmilla was taking. She wished she could just stay here with the raven haired girl that had rocked her life. Janice had been right last night, she had fallen for Carmilla since the first time she had wheeled into her room.

“Please don’t go,” Carmilla begged, tears were sliding down her face.

“I have to. I… It’s want I want.” Laura untangled herself from Carmilla and looked up. “And I’m no quitter,” she added

“You won’t be a quitter if you don’t start,” Carmilla objected stubbornly.

Laura sighed, she hadn’t realized how hard this would be. “I know. But it’s my dream, ever since I started med school. Working to save people in war zones, creating better chances for those who are the real victims off this stupid war.”

Carmilla fell silent, seeing the passion shimmer in Laura’s eyes. She had seen such passion before, in her own eyes whenever she talked about hockey.

“It really is what you want, isn’t it?”

Laura just nodded. “The timing really sucks,” she chuckled.

The raven haired chuckled as well. “I agree.”

Laura debated if she would confess her feelings. It wouldn’t be really fair, but what if she wouldn’t come home? What if she died and hadn’t had the chance to tell Carmilla?

“Do Perry and LaF know?” Carmilla suddenly asked, pulling Laura out of her thoughts.

“No. I was going to tell them today. Just like my dad,” Laura replied, deciding against telling Carmilla now. It would only make things more complicated.

“They’re going to kill you,” the raven haired girl predicted.

“I know,” Laura sighed and stood up.

Not much was said when the girls got dressed. Soon both of them were in their most comfortable clothes for the Saturday. “Want to grab breakfast?” Laura offered.

Carmilla checked her watch and nodded. “Yeah. I don’t have training today,” she said.

Laura nodded, she was glad. Now she could spent the day with Carmilla and soak up every minute with her. She hadn’t expected it, but she would miss Carmilla probably the most. She had not taken into account she would fall for Carmilla so hard. As they made their way to the little coffee shop down the road, Laura looked aside at Carmilla. She was wearing a black snap back, a greyish tank top and black pants. Like a gentleman, Carmilla held open the door for Laura and followed her inside.

“What do you want?” Carmilla asked, already moving to stand in line.

“A black coffee and the egg sandwich, please,” Laura quickly decided.

“Coming right up.”

Carmilla motioned for Laura to go sit down, so Laura found a table in the furthest corner next to the window. She sat down and looked out over the campus. Her student councilor had been disappointed she dropped out, but Laura didn’t really care. The look Carmilla had given her this morning, had broken her way more. She looked down at her hands, she didn’t want to hurt Perry and LaF, but knew she was going to anyway. She sighed and looked up as Carmilla came wheeling down the aisle with a full tray on her lap. She managed to reach Laura in one piece and slid the tray on the table. She pushed the chair away and parked her wheelchair under the tabled.

“One breakfast,” she smirked.

Laura smirked back and lifted her plate and coffee of the tray. Carmilla did the same and placed the empty tray on the empty table beside them.

“Bon appetite,” Laura said as she took a bit of her sandwich.

She closed her eyes at the taste, she would definitely miss this. “So, what do you want to do today, besides telling Perry and LaF and your dad?” Carmilla asked.

“I’m not sure yet. I think just staying in and watch movies,” Laura thought out loud.

“No way. You’re not going to be back for quite some time. You should go by all your favorite spots and shops,” Carmilla protested.

‘But, what if my favorite thing is already sitting across me?’ Laura wanted to say, but bite it back. “Maybe you’re right. Wanna join me?” she asked instead.

“Totally. Just let me know where you want to go,” Carmilla said, taking a bite of her breakfast.

Laura nodded and stared out of the window absently. She didn’t really care what they would do, as long Carmilla was by her side. She did want to visit the old library here on campus and rink where Carmilla trains. That’s what she wants to see, Carmilla in her element.

“I want to go to the ice rink with you. I want to see you skate,” she said, turning to look at Carmilla.

The raven haired girl stopped mid bite, looking surprised at the girl across her. “Why?”

“I like watching you.”

“Perv,” Carmilla joked. “Okay. That’s all?”

“No. I want to go to the library. I love that place. It’s so silent,” Laura mused.

Carmilla nodded and took a sip of her coffee. “Then that’s what we’re going to do,” she said.

Laura smirked, she knew this would be a good day. If only she wouldn’t have to break the hearts of her loved ones, then this day would be perfect. Carmilla saw the change in the brunette’s face. “When are you telling them?” she asked quietly.

“As soon as we’re done here,” Laura replied softly.

Carmilla only nodded, she knew this would be hard on the girl. “It’s going to be okay. It’s want you want, right?”

“Yes.” A small smile crept up her face. “It is. And they will understand.”

The conversation died down after that, they only made small talk. Carmilla was happy to keep it light hearted and to make this a day for Laura to never forget and remember when she was helping people on the other side of the world. To be honest, she didn’t like Laura was leaving so soon after they had just become friends. Carmilla had planned to take Laura on a date as soon as she was ready to move on after Janice. Now that was delayed and Laura had no idea how she felt. What if she met someone over there? She knew the rules were strict, but still it could happen. Carmilla felt a slight panic take over her, she couldn’t let Laura go without knowing.

“Carmilla! Are you okay?”

Carmilla looked up a bit distraught. “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine. Just…. Thinking,” she mumbled.

Laura just looked at her with a crooked grin and knowing eyes. “You were pretty far. I was asking if you were finishing your sandwich,” she smirked.

“Uh, no. You can have it.”

“Thanks.”

Soon enough the leftover of Carmilla’s sandwich was devoured and they are on their way back to the dorm.

“Do you need me to come with me to Perry and LaF?” Carmilla asked.

Laura just shook her head. “No. I don’t think you’ll be able to follow. Unless you know sign language,” she said.

Carmilla chuckled. “No, not enough anyway. Will you text me if you need me?” she asked.

“I will.”

The raven haired girl pulled Laura into a hug, which felt less awkward then last night and Laura held on tightly. She breathed in Carmilla’s scent, memorizing it. Finally, she let go and entered Perry’s room. Carmilla sighed and debated what she should do now Laura was in there telling her plans to her friends. She decided to go for her trainings route through Toronto. She went back to their room and transferred into her sledge. Soon enough she was on her way and only now Laura’s news seemed to land. Laura joined Doctors Without Borders in less than a day. After that she would be shipped out to god knows where and her life would be in danger. Carmilla knew there was nothing that could stop the strong willed brunette, she had seen the passion, but still wished there was something that would stop Laura from going. She blinked, tears were blurring her vision. Why was fate so cruel on her, again? Why could she never be happy? Angry, Carmilla set a deadly pace through the streets of Toronto, hoping to ride the pain out of her system.

~~~

_“You’re going to do what?!”_

Both Perry and LaF looked at her dumbfounded and with mouths slightly open. 

_“I’m joining the army.”_

_“When?”_ LaF demanded to know.

Laura swallowed before replying. They were not going to like this. _“Tomorrow.”_

“What?” Perry yelled, completely forgetting to sign. “No way. Laura.”

Laura blinked, her news was clearly getting to Perry, otherwise she wouldn’t speak. For a moment she thought about forgetting the whole joining the army, but then she remembered why she wanted to do this.

_“Why haven’t you told this sooner?”_ Perry asked, signing this time.

_“I just got the letter two days ago I was accepted._ _I… I was scared,”_ Laura admitted.

_“Yeah, I would be too. You can’t mean this, Laura. You’re going to get killed!”_ LaF exclaimed furiously.

_“I won’t, I promise. I will come back.”_

_“Where is this coming from? I never heard you saying you want to do this,”_ Perry suddenly said.

_“It’s what I wanted for a long time. It’s why I started med school,”_ Laura tried to explain.

_“Then why not finish it and see if you still want to join the army when you’re through,”_ LaF offered desperately, they didn’t, no couldn’t, lose their best friend.

_“Because I feel I’m wasting my time. I have enough knowledge, LaF and I want to do something now,”_ Laura said, feeling her heart break a bit at the desperate look of her friend. _“I’m sorry, LaF.”_

She pulled LaF into a bear hug, feeling their body shaking with held tears. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Perry joined them in the hug, she was also on the brink of crying. Laura tried her best not to cry as well, she needed to be strong. LaF untangled themselves from the hug, wiping away the tears.

_“I’m going to miss you.”_

_“I’m going to miss you guys too so much.”_

_“What did Carmilla say?”_ Perry suddenly asked, knowing something was happening between them.

_“She tried to stop me. She didn’t like it,”_ Laura replied

_“Does she know you like her?”_

Laura looked up frowning. _“What? I don’t…”_

_“You can be honest, sweetie. We know. We saw how you look at her,”_ LaF smirked.

_“Okay, fine. Yes, I like her. No, she doesn’t know,”_ Laura admitted.

_“Are you going to tell her?”_ Perry wanted to know.

_“Not right now, no. What’s the point? It’s not like we can start dating."_

_“She has the right to know,”_ LaF pointed out. 

Laura sighed, they were right. They were _always_ right…

~~~

Exhausted, Carmilla returned to their dorm room. When she let herself in, she noticed Laura hadn’t returned yet. She checked her watch, she had been gone an hour and a half. She unstrapped herself from the sledge and hoisted herself on Laura’s bed. Somehow Laura’s bed was softer and she felt way more comfortable. A knock on the door made her look up. It couldn’t be Laura, she would just enter.

“Yes?”

The door opened and Mattie entered the room. “There you are, I was looking for you. I wanted… Are you alright?” she asked as saw the red puffy face of Carmilla.

“Yeah, peachy.”

Mattie sat down in Carmilla’s wheelchair and looked up at the sad looking girl. “What’s wrong? Did Laura do something?” she asked.

Carmilla chuckled dryly. “She dropped a bomb on me.” Mattie looked at her curiously, she didn’t like it when Carmilla talked in riddles. “She’s leaving tomorrow to join the freakin’ army. Just when I thought of asking her for a date,” Carmilla rambled, barely holding her tears at bay.

“O, sweetheart.”

Mattie moved out of the wheelchair next to Carmilla, taking her into her arms. Carmilla broke down completely, her body shaking involuntarily. “Why can’t I just be happy with someone? Why do they always have to leave?” Carmilla asked through her tears.

“I don’t know, sweetie. Laura will be fine, I’m sure and then you can take her out,” Mattie offered.

Carmilla just nodded, her head to full with the thought of Laura leaving. To full with fear of losing her before she was even hers to call. Fear of never having the chance to see that beautiful face or hear the melodious voice. She let it overwhelm her for now, now Laura isn’t here to see her like this. After what felt like hours, she calmed down and untangled herself from Mattie 

“I’m sorry,” she said, seeing the wet spot on Mattie’s shirt.

“It’s okay. Are you?” she asked. 

“Yes. Thank you,” she smiled at Mattie.

“You’re welcome.”

The door opened and Laura entered the room. “O, hey. Sorry, am I interrupting?” she asked, seeing the red swollen eyes of Carmilla.

“No. This is Mattie, the captain of the team,” Carmilla introduced Mattie.

“Laura. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. I’ll leave you to it. See you tomorrow, greenie,” Mattie winked and left the room.

Laura looked worried at Carmilla. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah. Don’t worry. I checked, but the rink is closed today,” Carmilla said.

“Damn. Well, than you have to film it and send it to me,” Laura thought out loud.

Carmilla laughed. “Deal. How did it go with Perry and LaF?” she asked.

The brunette’s face fell and she plopped on Carmilla’s bed. “They were heartbroken. They didn’t like it, but eventually understood why I have to go.”

“Good. And your dad?”

“He wasn’t thrilled either, he tried to stop me as well. I tried to explain, I hope he understands,” Laura said hopeful.

“I hope so too. Just come back in one piece, okay? I’m not done with you,” the raven haired girl teased.

Laura smirked and came sitting next to Carmilla. “Movie marathon?” she asked, as she looked aside.

Carmilla smirked and nodded. Laura grabbed her laptop and opened it. Carmilla lay her head down on the girl's shoulder, enjoying the closeness…

 ~~~

The next morning was an early one. Laura had to report at the military base at nine o’clock sharp. So Carmilla, Perry and LaF were standing on the driveway next to their dorm at six a.m. on a Sunday. Laura stood next to Carmilla, her backpack stood at the ready before her feet. No one said a word, not knowing what to say. Finally, the cab pulled up and the driver got out to take Laura’s baggage. Laura took a step forward towards the cab and turned to face her friends.

“ _Well, I guess this is it_ ,” she said.

Perry and LaF immediately engulfed her in a big hug, Carmilla kept standing to the side with her head down. Perry and LaF let go of Laura and Laura walked over to Carmilla and hugged her.

“Keep an eye on them for me, will you?” she asked.

“I will,” Carmilla choked, holding on to Laura tightly. “Be safe.”

“I will.”

Laura stepped back and was about to step into the cab as Carmilla surged forward. “Wait!”

Laura looked up surprised. Carmilla pulled the brunette down and kissed her fiercely. “I love you,” she whispered.

Laura’s heart hammered in her chest as she looked into the beautiful brown eyes she had fallen in love with as soon as she saw them. “I love you too,” she choked.

She untangled herself from Carmilla and with one last longing look, she got in the cab and drove off. Carmilla stared after the car, tears spilling down her face. Perry and LaF engulfed her in a hug, with the three of them staring at the disappearing car…


	5. Here Without You

The air was dry and asphyxiating near the border of Turkey. Laura ran away from the helicopter that had brought her and her platoon to their base camp for the coming months. They were stationed near the river Euphrates to take in the refugees that tried to flee Syria. Her platoon was there to protect those refugees from ISIS and Laura as medic had an important role to fulfill. Laura could almost feel ISIS breath down their neck and she felt they were being watched. The gates of the base camp opened and they were safe, for now. 

After the formalities, Laura made her way to her barrack. She would be sharing it with Captain Lawrence, they were the only women in this base at the moment. While crossing the yard to the barrack, her mind wandered to Carmilla. During basic training they had exchanged letters, at first they were awkward and rather short, but now the letters were longer and more intimate. Laura had sent Carmilla a letter telling her she would be sent out to Syria. That had been almost a week ago and she had hoped she had mail when they were in Damascus, but there had been no mail for anyone. She had no idea if they would be able to receive mail here, she hoped so. Laura stepped into the barrack and found it empty. She sighed and walked over to the one bunk that had a small pile of blankets and a pillow. She figured that was her bunk. She looked around and found the bunk next to her occupied. The bed was neatly made and on the wall were a few pictures. Laura smiled as she looked at them. In the pictures was a tall, smiling redhead with different people. They all were wearing the khaki colored uniforms. She figured the redhead was Captain Lawrence. She went back to her bunk and started making the bed. She was half way through unpacking her backpack as the flap of the tent swung open and said redhead entered the barrack.

“Ah, you must be private Hollis,” she boomed.

Laura immediately stood at attention, her back stiff, her legs squeezed together and her gaze staring straight ahead. “Captain Lawrence.”

The redhead chuckled, standing at easy with her arms crossed. “At ease. Here in the tent it’s just Danny, okay?”

A bit uncertain Laura looked aside and saw the warm smile on Danny’s face and relaxed. “Okay. I’m Laura.”

“Nice to meet you, Laura. You’re a medic, right?” Danny asked as she sat down on her bed.

“Yeah.”

“Then you’ll be busy. It’s chaos out there,” Danny sighed.

Laura nodded. “Well, that’s why I’m here. To create order in the chaos,” she said, finishing unpacking.

Danny chuckled. “Good luck with that. O, this came for you in the mail,” she said as she handed a white envelope over.

“O great. I’ve been waiting for that.”

Laura ripped open the envelope, pulling out two pieces of paper.

“Family?”

“No, my… friend,” Laura answered, not sure what she and Carmilla exactly were.

Danny just smiled and grabbed a book from under her pillow, giving Laura the privacy to read her letter.

_November 3, Toronto, Canada_

_Hey cupcake,_

Laura smirked at the nickname, Carmilla almost always started her letter with it.

_I think that by the time you receive this letter, you’ll be in Syria. It scares me that they sent you there, it’s a big mess up there as far as I heard. Please, promise me you’ll be safe there? I wouldn’t know what to do if something happened to you…_

_Okay, sorry for that. I… I hadn’t slept much when I wrote that and when I’m sleep deprived I’m emotional. I’m writing this from the bench of a game, I just played most of the game. Coach pulled me from the ice, while I could’ve played for ages. I don’t know what it is, but when I’m on the ice, I’m alive. This is one of the last games for this season, we already placed for the championships, so yey ;)_

_In other news, Perry and LaF are officially dating and even I have to admit they are adorable! So adorable I couldn’t help but to draw them. (drawing is included, maybe you can stick it on your wall and think about us? ;) )_

_How is it over there? Is it as horrible as shown in the news? I hope they treat you well, otherwise I’ll feel the need to come over there and give them hell._

The writing changed a bit, more sloppy. Laura figured it was late when Carmilla wrote this last bit, judging by the content.

_I miss you, Laur. The room is so empty. I’ve refused new roommates and your half of the room has been untouched. I wish we could’ve acted on that last kiss. I want to take you out, go to the movies, snuggle and kiss some more._

_Please come home safe._

_I love you._

Laura folded the letter close, tears were in her eyes. Her heart ached, she missed Carmilla to. That first and last kiss was still lingering on her lips and she could swear she still felt the touch of Carmilla’s lips. She took a ragged breath and wiped away the single tear that slipped down. She opened the second paper and saw a really well sketched Perry and Laf. They were sitting next to each other at what Laura guessed their favorite coffee shop and having only eyes for each other. Laura smiled as she could picture them sitting there, obvious to the rest of the world. She laid the drawing on her pillow and did the letter back in the envelope, sliding it under her pillow. The flap of the tent suddenly opened and a tall man appeared in the opening.

“Private Hollis? We need you, there’s been a shooting and we have multiple wounded.”

Laura shot up, immediately with her head back into the work she had to do. Behind her, Danny followed suit, the flap fell close…

~~~

_November 13 th, Toronto_

With all the power she had in her, Carmilla punched the punching bag. Coach had them training in the boxing ring, to get their arm strength optimized. Mattie, who was holding the bag for Carmilla, did a step back to stay in balance.

“What did that punching bag to you?” she asked.

“Nothing. I haven’t heard from Laura ever since she left for Syria,” Carmilla said, sounding disappointed.

Mattie sighed and let go of the bag to kneel before Carmilla, so they were face to face. “You will hear from her, I promise. The mail is slow over there,” she said softly, placing a hand on Carmilla’s with glove-covered hand.

“I know. I’m… I wouldn’t know what I would do if she got hurt Mattie,” she said on the brink of tears.

“She’ll be fine. She’s small, but well trained. And you said yourself, she’s passionate. She’ll be back before you know.”

Carmilla just nodded, not sure if she could ever be this calm about this. They had just found each other for crying out loud and she wasn’t sure she would survive if she lost another loved one. She sighed and held up her hands again. Mattie took that as a cue to hold the bag again and Carmilla hammered away at the bag, her face hardened to keep the tears at bay. She would cry when she was alone.

Two hours later, Carmilla wheeled into her building to her room to get some rest. She struggled with the keys and opened the door, but before she could enter Perry approached her.

_“Hi.”_

Carmilla looked up and smiled at the curly redhead. _“Hey,”_ she signed back.

She had decided to learn sign language and with the help from Laf and Perry, she was able to hold a simple conversation.

 _“The mail arrived this morning, but you were already gone,”_ Perry said enthusiastically, she found it amazing Carmilla was learning to sign just for her. Carmilla laughed and signed to Perry to slow down. _“Sorry. There’s a letter for you.”_

Perry handed the letter and Carmilla immediately recognized Laura’s handwriting. _“Thank you.”_

 _“You’re welcome. You want to grab a cup of coffee later with LaF and me?”_ she asked, signing slowly.

_“Yeah, I would love that. Four-ish?”_

_“Perfect. See you there.”_

Perry waved and walked off. Carmilla stared at the letter in her lap and wheeled into the room, closing the door behind her. She transferred out of her chair onto Laura’s bed. It was what she always did when a letter from Laura arrived, it made her feel closer to her. She grabbed Laura’s yellow pillow and opened the letter.

_November 10th, location undisclosed_

_Hey Carm,_

_It’s been one heck of a ride. I can’t exactly tell you where I am, but I can tell you that it’s dangerous here. But, don’t worry, I’ll be fine._

_They’re keeping me busy, some days I hardly have time to sleep. And the stories these refugees are telling me… it’s really heart breaking. They had to leave their homes, their friends and sometimes even their children or loved ones. It really makes me wonder what the world has come to when we are doing this to each other…_

_Thank you for the drawing, I had no idea you could draw like that! I really could see them sitting there, obvious to the rest of the world._

_How is training going? Against who is the next game? I try to keep up to date, but the internet here is very slow and I only have about 15 minutes. So it’s up to you to keep me up to date ;)_

_I really miss you to. Sometimes I swear I can hear your voice and every time it isn’t you, I feel empty. Thank god we can write, that way you’re still a bit with me. Do you remember when we made that picture the last day before I left? I carry that around with me._

_I’ve got to go now, the Humvee leaves in a few minutes._

_I love you._

_Laura_

By the time Carmilla reached the bottom of the letter, she’s a sobbing mess. She clutched to the letter like it was her lifeline and let go of the buildup tears. She pulled the pillow tighter against her chest, hoping it would hold her together while the hole in her chest grew even wider. It feels like she’s being ripped apart and all she can do is cry. She doesn’t hear the knocking on the door, or the footsteps reaching her. She doesn’t feel the bed dips as LaF sits down next to her. She noticed she wasn’t alone when LaF wrapped their arms around her and pulled her in a tight hug. Perry sat down on the other side of Carmilla, her heart breaking at the sight next to her. She locked eyes with LaF, who was barely keeping it together themselves. Perry does the only thing she knew she could do, wrap her arms around both of them. They sat like this for hours, after a while Carmilla calmed down and even fell asleep...

~~~

Carmilla woke up disoriented. She was surrounded by two sleeping bodies, those of LaF and Perry. She tried to remember what happened through her foggy brain and as her eyes landed on the piece of paper, she remembered. Laura had written her. Carmilla sighed and tried to crawl off the bed without waking her friends.

“Hey, where are you going?” LaF asked half asleep as Carmilla had almost reached her wheelchair.

“Sorry, didn’t want to wake you,” Carmilla said with a guilty look on her face.

“It’s okay. How are you feeling?” LaF asked as they sat up, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes.

“Like I haven’t been drinking enough. My head is exploding,” Carmilla groaned.

“That’s not strange. You were crying when we found you.”

Carmilla nodded, it all came back to her. She still felt the aching pain in her chest, although it had subdued a bit. “I need to get over myself. Laura knows what she’s doing and I have to trust her,” Carmilla sighed.

“But every once and a while it’s okay to miss her and cry,” LaF objected.

“I know, but I’ve felt paralyzed ever since she left. I don’t even enjoy my trainings, I have to drag myself to them,” she admitted.

“You’ll be fine. And it’s understandable. But next time, come see me or Perry when you want to cry, okay? I hate seeing you all alone and sobbing,” they said sincere.

Carmilla smiled at them. “Thanks, LaF. Same goes to the both of you,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“I have to go now. Practice.”

“Good luck. See you later?” LaF asked.

“Definitely, didn’t we have lunch plans?” Carmilla asked as she grabbed her bag.

“Yep. See you there.”

Carmilla nodded, smiled reassuring and left the room. LaF turned around to Perry seeing she was still sleeping. LaF smiled and crawled next to her, wrapping her in their arms.

~~~

Training had been brutal, but a good one. They had tried to mix it up and changed everyone’s positions, except the goalies. Carmilla had played the center forward and it was hard. But they had worked out a new strategy and Carmilla felt hopeful they would win with this one against Russia in a couple of weeks.

She arrived at #307 way too early she saw as she checked her watched. She settled at a table in the corner and pulled her laptop and headphones out of her bag. If she had to wait on the ginger twins, she better be doing something useful. Something useful ended up being scrolling through Tumblr and Facebook chatting with Will. He had convinced their mother to come see a game and now they were talking about what they wanted to do when he was here. Carmilla was glad her brother was coming, to be honest she could use the distracting. Suddenly an incoming call from Skype appeared on her screen. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw it was Laura. With shaking hands she accepted the call. Immediately Laura’s face appeared on the screen, she had a sun-kissed tint.

“Carm?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m here. Hi,” Carmilla reacted and waved darkish at Laura.

Laura’s face split in a giant grin. “Hey to you too. How are you?”

“Good. How are you?”

“Tired, but good. Where are you? Are you in #307?” Laura asked, as she tried to look past Carmilla.

Carmilla chuckled. “Yeah. I’m waiting for LaF and Perry.”

Laura’s face softened at the mention of her friends. “I’m glad you guys are hitting it off,” she said.

“Me too. I’m learning ASL.”

“Perry told me, that’s great. Can you show me something?” Laura asked excited.

 _“Hi Laura. I’m glad to see you,”_ Carmilla signed slowly, straining to get it right.

“I’m glad to see you too. Have you gotten my letter?” Laura asked curiously.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

The image shimmered on the screen and Carmilla was afraid the connection would be disconnected.

“Look, the connection is really bad and I don’t have much time. I’m really happy to see you, Carm. I miss you,” Laura said, her face serious.

“I miss you too. You’ll have some making up to do when you get back,” Carmilla joked.

Laura laughed and nodded. “You look good.”

“So do you, all darker skin and all.”

“Yeah, the sun is brutal.”

Carmilla heard a vague yelling and Laura looked behind her. It took a few seconds for Laura to look back, but it felt ages to Carmilla. “Look, I’ve got to go. I love you!”

The image shook violently this time and the connection got disconnected. “I love you too,” Carmilla whispered, near to tears.

She prayed nothing bad had happened to the camp Laura was in. She closed the laptop and hung her headphones around her neck. She looked up and saw the tv-screen on the wall. Images were shown of the war in Syria, a Humvee had been hit by a roadside bomb. Carmilla looked away, she didn’t want to know. She looked out of the window, not really seeing what happened outside. All she could see was Laura’s sun-kissed face and her broad smile…

~~~

“Carm. Carm, wake up.”

Groggy, Carmilla opened her eyes. As her eyes focused, she was suddenly wide awake. “Laura?! You’re here?” she asked as she saw Laura standing next to her bed with a broad grin.

“Yep, I’m here.”

“But, you’re in Syria,” Carmilla said, trying to wrap her brain around the fact that Laura was standing here in their room.

“Surprise! I could go on leave, because I’ve been active for a month now,” Laura explained.

Carmilla frowned, she had never heard of this rule, but shrugged it off. She reached out and pulled Laura into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered.

“And I’m glad to be here with you. I’ve missed you so much,” Laura whispered back.

After what seemed ages, but no way near enough for Carmilla, they let go off each other. Carmilla quickly dressed and they were on their way to #307 to get a much needed and missed coffee. They entered the shop and order. They sat down at their usual table. Carmilla noticed the shop was remarkably emptied, but she didn’t care much. All that mattered was that Laura was here, alive and well. The order arrived, both had a latte macchiato and a sandwich.

“So, when did you arrive?” Carmilla asked.

“Last night, you were already sleeping in my bed,” Laura winked.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You looked so darn cute and I needed some sleep as well. That jetlag isn’t funny.”

Carmilla chuckled and grabbed Laura’s hand to ensure she really was here sitting across of her. “You’re really here,” she whispered.

“Yes I am, for the coming 48 hours.”

Carmilla just smirked and took a sip of her coffee. While finishing their coffee and sandwiches, they chit chatted a bit, nothing too serious. The serious talk came when they were sitting underneath Laura’s favorite tree in the park. Laura was sitting between Carmilla’s legs and Carmilla was absent minded playing with Laura’s hair.

“So, what’s it like over there?” Carmilla asked.

Laura fell silent and sighed. “It’s awful. These people try to flee Syria because of ISIS and ISIS are just waiting for them at the border. We’ve managed to get a safety buffer, but it’s no way near being really safe. Everyday people get shot at. We do everything we can, but they’re too strong.”

Carmilla felt Laura tremble and protective, she wrapped her arms around the tiny girl. “I’m sorry. Why don’t you just stay? Don’t go back?” she offered hopeful.

Laura chuckled dryly. “That would be called treason and I want to go back. These people, they need me. 

“I bet the other medics in the army are as good as you are,” Carmilla replied. 

Laura turned around, her eyes burning with passion. “You don’t get it, I need to get back. I need to be there, to help.”

Carmilla observed her for a while, then she nodded and pulled Laura back into a tight embrace. “I know. I know,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

“Don’t cry, Carm. Please,” Laura pleaded, looking up at Carmilla.

“Don’t you understand? I need you too,” Carmilla said desperate.

“I know and after this tour I’ll be home,” Laura promised.

Carmilla just nodded and kissed Laura deeply. Laura reacted by wrapping her arms around Carmilla’s back. “Let’s go back to the dorm,” she said with a low voice.

As they arrived at their dorm, Laura helped Carmilla to get on the bed and as soon as Carmilla sat, she pulled Laura on top of her. The kisses were sloppy and wet as they both tried to get undressed as soon as possible. Laura pushed Carmilla on her back and crawled over to her.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Laura bowed down and kissed Carmilla deep. Her hand wandered down their bodies and stopped just above the spot Carmilla wanted her. Laura looked at her, seeking confirmation.

“Please, Laura,” Carmilla moaned.

That was all Laura needed and dipped down. Carmilla arched her back, slightly scratching Laura’s back. A sharp ringing interrupted them and the image blurred. Carmilla didn’t understand, Laura was fading and the ringing kept going. Carmilla opened her eyes and found herself alone in her bed, completely dressed and soaking wet with sweat. The ringing continued and Carmilla realized it was her phone. Quickly she grabbed it and answered.

“Hello?” she said groggy with sleep.

“Carmilla? It’s Danny Hollis, Laura’s father.”

Carmilla frowned, his voice sounded strangely small. “Mister Hollis, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Laura. She’s MIA.”


End file.
